


i guess it is what it is

by weddingbells



Series: in which harry outs nick and louis [1]
Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drabbles, M/M, Outing, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 09:19:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4054726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weddingbells/pseuds/weddingbells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well are you dating him?”“Yes he is.” Vic says, and Nick turns to her a bit surprised at how she seems to think that she can answer this for him. Also because Vic doesn’t even know about him and Louis, only one person does, really.“Excuse…” Nick starts, but Vic cuts him off and Fiona does too at the same time. Nick is outnumbered, Matt really shouldn’t have left him.“Well if you’re not, you might need to come up with a pretty good explanation to why there is a picture of you and Louis snogging up on the wall in Harry’s bedroom.”</p><p>(or the one where harry accidentally outs nick and louis)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i guess it is what it is

**Author's Note:**

> When I am sick and have no energy for writing the things I should write this is what happens instead x

”Why is everyone saying you’re dating Louis Tomlinson?” Fiona asks, and Nick looks up because wow, that was something he never thought Fiona would ask him, not while looking at her phone and while they are playing the new Florence, waiting for the next Newsbeat to be read. He lets out a laugh, hoping it doesn’t show how nervous that comment makes him.

“What?”

“Why is everyone saying you’re dating Louis Tomlinson?” Fiona repeats again and she speaks slowly as if Nick doesn’t understand the words coming out of her mouth. “I just posted on the Breakfast twitter about this song and all I got was replies asking if it’s true you’re dating Louis Tomlinson.”

Nick grunts, because that seems to be as good as any reaction while he fishes out his own phone. He doesn’t have tweet notifications on for others than close friends so it’s what worries him when he sees that not only has he five new DM’s but also a couple of texts coming in from Collette and Aimee and his mum.

Now he is really worried.

The DM’s or the texts are all the same, most of them are along the lines of ‘why didn’t you tell me?’ or ‘is this really true, I thought you couldn’t stand him?’ and Nick wonders why, why, why this is happening.

“What is going on, Nick?” Fiona asks as Tina starts reading the news and Nick knows he’s got about 2 minutes to read through his mentions on twitters to see if any of those are more helpful than texts and DM’s from friends.

It’s all over the place, just as Fiona told him. Shouting, caps, people asking if it’s true, some people saying they knew it, and some hateful tweets Nick scrolls past as he keeps seeing Louis’ name mentioned with his and he wonders what the fuck happened.

They have been so careful. So, so very careful. For months.

“Nick, what is going on?” Fiona asks, and Nick just shakes his head.

He doesn’t know.

 

**

 

There is only one hour left of the show and most of it will be Nixtape, and Vic is kind enough to let the music do the talking for the last hour as Nick is mostly shaking and not being able to make much sense anyway. Fiona keeps trying to get him to answer, trying to get some kind of response from him about what is going on, but Nick has none to give because he really doesn’t understand what is going on. Louis has been in LA and Las Vegas and apart from the week he spent in LA with both him, Harry and Liam that no one knows they even met up, Nick hasn’t even seen him. They keep in touch, but there is no way anyone can see Nick’s phone calls.

Nick doesn’t understand and during the show is not the time to do some digging.

He is almost desperate for any kind of answers when the show ends and Fearne takes over and Nick can finally try to understand what is going on.

“You’re dating Louis Tomlinson?” Fiona asks and Nick sighs.

“Bit of a broken record today are ya, Fifi?”

“Don’t.” Fiona says, clearly not about to let this slip into friendly banter right now. “Are you? Thought you guys didn’t get along that well. Honestly thought you and Haz…”

Nick rolls his eyes because that is just dumb.

“Don’t believe gossip.” He tells her and Fiona keeps glaring.

“Well are you dating him?”

“Yes he is.” Vic says, and Nick turns to her a bit surprised at how she seems to think that she can answer this for him. Also because Vic doesn’t even know about him and Louis, only one person does, really.

“Excuse…” Nick starts, but Vic cuts him off and Fiona does too at the same time. Nick is outnumbered, Matt really shouldn’t have left him.

“Well if you’re not, you might need to come up with a pretty good explanation to why there is a picture of you and Louis snogging up on the wall in Harry’s bedroom.” Vic continues and if Nick was confused before he is absolutely lost right now.

He sits down because really there is nothing else to do.

“There’s…” He asks, because what can he say, what can he say to that really? “We… how do you know what’s in Harry’s bedroom?”

Fiona lets out a little shriek at that.

“So it’s true!”

“How do you know?” Nick asks, ignoring Fiona and staring down Vic who gives him a look filled with pity. She takes out her iPad, and shows him some screenshots.

“I’m sorry.” Is all she says as she hands it over to Nick. Nick feels his heart drop into his low gut and explode there in a pile of fear.

There are pictures, obviously from some kind of livestream Harry must have done as he got back from a party or something that caused him to be more than tipsy because he looks drunk, Nick can tell that he is drunk.

“From last night.” Vic explains. “Or I guess just a couple of hours ago, really. Because time differences.”

Nick isn’t even sure if he’s heard her because he can’t stop staring at the tweet that was first posting the screenshots. They are zooming in on the wall behind Harry and the pictures are blurry and not the best quality but it is good enough quality to show the pictures.

It’s Louis, on his tip toes and arms around Nick’s neck, kissing him in a flower garden in the southern of France, where they visited on their first vacation together, almost a year ago now. Harry got that picture from them, wanting it up on his wall where it says ‘home is where the heart is’ where Harry pins pictures of all his friends and people he holds dear that isn’t always around because Harry is a sappy little shit and Nick loves him for it.

But now it’s nothing cute about that picture being the centre of Harry’s wall. Now it’s nothing but a bloody menace.

“Shit.” Is all he says before he gets his phone out. “Shit.”

 

**

 

It’s the middle of the night and neither Harry or Louis seems to be awake and Nick is sure it won’t matter how many times he calls them because there is just no waking them up. He sneaks out through the big entrance of the BBC house, considering there’s already a crowd of reporters and fans waiting for him there and he just can’t deal, he can’t deal.

He sees the paps swarming his house from far away and decides to seek refuge in the house of Collette instead, asking her to pick up Pig.

He sits on the living room floor when Collette comes back with Pig, and he can tell she is dying to ask him about what is going on but she doesn’t, and that’s why Nick loves her.

Pig licks all over his face and he loves her too, and then as Pig starts focusing on a rubber toy shaped like a bunny instead, Nick tries calling Louis again.

He lets out a frustrated groan when he doesn’t get to anything but voice mail, and Collette shakes her head.

“Love, you ready to talk yet?”

“Can’t.” Nick says and he is frustrated and upset and just so damn confused. “The person I need to talk to isn’t even answering his phone.”

“How long have you been dating him?” Collette asks instead and Nick answers without even thinking.

“A bit longer than a year.”

Collette smiles and then she doesn’t say anything else because clearly she didn’t need any more details than that.

Nick tries calling Harry and then Louis and Harry again before calling Louis three times.

Then he gets a phone call.

“Mr. Grimshaw.”

Nick sighs inwardly because he recognizes that voice. It’s one of Louis’ managers, the more grumpy one.

“Hello, that’s me.”

“I am sure you are aware of the events currently happening.” The manager says and Nick nods, then realizing he is on the phone and he clears his throat.

“Yeah. Wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?”

“Mr. Styles seems to have wanted to do a livestream last night and by doing that accidentally forgetting the way his room is decorated.” The managers says and Nick rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I get that. And what is happening now?”

“We are trying to contact them and then as we see fitting, we will proceed with…”

“Hang on.” Nick says, as his phone signals another phone call coming in. It’s Louis, which is someone Nick much rather would be talking to right now. “I gotta go, Louis is calling me.”

He hang up without even thinking about if he is rude and takes Louis’ call.

“Hi babe.” He whispers, and for the first time since this morning he really just wants to cry.

“Nick?” Louis’ voice sounds unsure and muffled and just so weak and it makes Nick wants to cry even more. “What is going on?”

“I… god.” Nick drags a hand over his face and then he tries to explain as much as he can, even if it’s difficult to when you don’t even understand what is going on in the first place.

When he is done Louis is quiet, so quiet that Nick actually wonders if he hung up on him.

“Love?” He asks, voice so weak. “Are you still there?”

“I’m here.” Louis says, voice nothing but a hoarse little sound. “Fuck, Nick. Fuck.”

“Fuck.” Nick agrees and then takes a deep breath. “Your manager called me, and I…”

“I gotta talk to Harry.” Louis says, and Nick nods.

“Y-yeah I…”

“I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” Louis hurries out and then he actually does hang up on Nick. Nick is still with the phone in his hand.

“I love you.” He whispers to nothing.

 

**

 

Harry is crying for a good minute into the phone when he calls Nick, before he even says anything.

“I’m so-sorry.” He sobs as he tries to get some kind of words out. Nick wishes he could hug him. “N-never wanted this to happen.”

“It’s okay.” Nick tries to calm him down but it’s difficult to calm someone down over the phone, especially when it’s Harry. “Harry, please I…”

“Never drinking again.” Harry keeps sobbing as he tries to get the words out. “Just wanted to do something fun for the fans. Never thought…”

“Harry it wasn’t your fault.” Nick interrupts him but that only makes Harry sob harder.

“But it is. I outed y-you and it wasn’t… and god.” He sobs and Nick really wants him to stop crying. “I am a mess and it’s not even about me, I created a mess for you and Louis and god Louis isn’t even out…”

“Harry.” Nick says and he tries to sound firm in what he is saying. “We will figure this out. And people would find out sooner or later, anyway. It’s been a year.”

“I’m so-sorry.” Harry sobs, and Nick sighs.

“I know darling. I know.”

 

**

 

“I want to come home.” Louis whispers. Nick nods, and Louis is curled up in bed because it’s late there and early in London and Nick should be at work but he has called in sick for the first time in forever and now he is on skype with Louis who looks like a pale ghost, which is saying a lot.

“Soon.” Nick whispers, reaching his fingers out to touch Louis on the screen because he is lame like that. “Just a couple of days.”

“Going to a party with Taylor Swift.” Louis says, shaking his head. “Tomorrow. Don’t wanna go.”

“Tay is a doll.” Nick says as if that will help with this, and Louis snorts. “I know, you keep saying that. That’s why I’m doing this, right? Making nice with all your friends.”

“I love you for it.” Nick mumbles, and he smiles and as he does, Louis smiles too before he sighs.

“Management are ripping their hair out trying to get this to take a good direction.” He sighs and curls up even more. Nick wants to wrap his arms around him. He really does.

“I bet.” Nick breathes out. “How’s Harry?”

Louis shrugs.

“Sad. Blaming himself. I think he wants to hate himself but he is Harry so he can’t really hate anything, can he? So it just makes him more miserable.”

Nick laughs at that, actually laughs. Maybe they shouldn’t be laughing and joking about this but this is a mess and Nick has never been good at handling messes with anything but laughter.

“I can see that. But you are both coming back soon right? Home.”

“Home.” Louis repeats, and he looks tired and dreamy at the same time. “Miss you. Need you.”

“Miss you too.” Nick whispers.

“Want to get off together?” Louis tries to ask cheekily, and Nick giggles.

They don’t do that though because Louis falls asleep.

Nick might be watching him for a couple of minutes before he turns off his webcam.

 

**

 

When Louis comes home it’s after the worst week of Nick’s life. He is used to being out and used to receiving more than enough of nasty comments about his friendship with Harry, but this is on a whole new level.

Between being rung down by media, attacked on twitter and Vic having to monitor every single call they take on the show that week, he also has to deal with his friends and parents and brother and sister giving him an earful about keeping a relationship with a nice boy hidden from them.

Nick is exhausted and he has never missed Louis more in his life.

He can see Louis’ car pull up from his window and he needs to resist temptation to run out and greet him. He doesn’t though, just watches Louis getting led inside by Alberto and then he hears the key in the lock and the door opens.

As soon as the door closes again Nick is on him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight. Louis almost freezes, as if he is unsure what to do but then his arms are around Nick and Nick sobs into his neck because Louis is home, and Louis sobs too.

“Missed you.” Louis whispers, and Nick doesn’t have time to say it back before they are kissing, and Louis drops his bag to the floor, jumping up on Nick and wrapping arms and legs around him as they deepen the kiss.

Nick wonders if he should comment on how Louis is this eager and maybe they should talk or if Louis shouldn’t be tired from his flight from New York but he doesn’t do that but instead he kisses Louis back, leading him to the bedroom where he takes his time to show Louis just how much he has missed him.

 

**

 

“I don’t know what to do.” Louis admits when he is naked and sweaty and covered in come, fingers tracing Nick’s tattoos. Nick bites his lower lip and nods as he tries to come up with something good to say.

“Me either.” He says insead, which okay might not be the best thing but it’s all he can do right now.

“You will stay with me right?” Louis asks and it breaks Nick’s heart to hear how vulnerable he is. Nick pulls him closer.

“We’re in this together, right?” He says, forcing a smile. Louis doesn’t smile back, but he nods, nuzzling his face against Nick’s chest.

“Together.” He whispers, and Nick nods.

_Together._

**Author's Note:**

> babygotstyles @ twitter and tumblr, hit me up


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